Reflections: My worst B&B experience
During our two week holiday in New Zealand I purposefully booked B&B and farm stay accommodation, with three aims; the first being that moving nightly, this would provide us with the most comfortable accommodation for a reasonable price, the second that we would get to stay in some very rural locations, and the third, and most important being that I wanted my husband to experience fantastic Kiwi hospitality and fall in love with New Zealand in the same way as I had ten years previous.
All went well for the first ten days, we enjoyed amazing hospitality, made friends for life, stayed in some of the most rural places possible, and my husband agreed that I had made a good decision booking B&Bs for our trip. Then we arrived on the West coast of the South island to stay overnight close to the Punakaiki rocks……
On our arrival, one of our hosts eventually made it out to the car to meet us, while his wife (clearly visible in the garage) muttering away with her head stuck in the freezer made no attempt to move! This should have been our first clue that this was not the homely B&B we had become accustomed to so far in New Zealand. On arrival in the lounge area, a brisk explanation was given regarding the “rules” of the house. Now I have never smoked, and don’t like it much, but the no smoking ban extended from the house to the road, therefore any smoker would be expected to take a short hike to indulge themselves, a little over excessive we thought. Next came the additional costs of laundry facilities, computer and Internet usage, additional heating, towels for the beach and any toiletries we may have forgotten. It was all we could do at this point to stop ourselves from laughing and wondering if these people had a secret fantasy to run a hotel rather than a B&B.
Dinner was offered on booking, and given the limited catering establishments locally we thought that a home cooked meal and social chat would be a pleasant way to spend the evening. Again, alarm bells should have rung when we booked with the description of home cooked, set-menu in-house evening meals being available on some evenings (at least 48 hours prior discussion required – our nearest shopping is 50 km away!)’. We filed into the ultra formal dining room with another couple of guests at the required time of “7.00 prompt”. Then proceeded to try and stifle giggles as our hosts offered us house wine for a certain price, (no description offered) or bottled wine at a premium. I thought all wine worth drinking came in bottles?
Somehow we got through dinner with barely a word spoken between the six of us sat around the table, and when offered the chance to relax in the lounge and library area for coffee after dinner my husband and I declined and literally ran back to our room. Safely away from our rather unfriendly hosts, we rescued a “nice bottle” of wine from our suitcase, opened it with a car key and drank it from bathroom glasses while watching the sun set over punakaiki rocks, whispering in case we were overheard enjoying ourselves!
This B&B was not what we expected of a New Zealand B&B destination. Reading the literature on the location now, it is clear that our expectations were never going to be realized, we just never imagined people like our hosts existed and actually invited people into their homes under the misapprehension that they would be treated to a memorable Kiwi experience. My husband and I still laugh and groan inwardly about our stay there four years on.
